Letters from Canada 19 February 2015
Father Mark: Its times like this I wish there were more hours in a day and days in a week. On the docks, I need to prepare for a sermon that would tie my pastoral responsibilities with searching for Mary, followed by a strategy and planning session with Susan, Linda and Tom to organize that effort. But first I must attend to my day job and talk to a young couple that asked me to married them in church. Marrying couples in love is one of the more enjoyable tasks of my work.
In my parish office after intros, I welcomed the newly engaged couple Theodore and Janice with a big smile and handshakes.
- Father Mark: “Both of You must be new to the parish, I don’t recognize either one You.”
- Theodore: “We live about 112 Kilometers (70 miles) from here. A good friend of ours recommended You to marry us.”
- Father Mark: “I am flattered and let’s start by telling me something about yourself.”
- Theodore: “What do you want to know?”
- Father Mark: “Anything that would help me know both of you a little better and lead us to become good friends.”
- Theodore: “We did not come here to make new friends. We are not going to join any church. We just want to get marry.”
- Father Mark: “I hope your friend who recommended me to marry you, shared with you the preparations that couples need to complete before I marry them. The first one being that I need to have a good feeling that both of you are in love with each other. A close second one is why do you wish to be married in Church when there are so many other marriage venues.”
“Before any questions or discussions, let’s go over the other preparatory steps. Not being regular Church goers, I would like you to attend at least 10 public Church Services over the next two years. No requirements to join a Church just show up and observe the faithful and if opportunities arise try to talk to parishioners at the Church.”
“Also over a two year time span, both of you need to volunteer for community service. You decide what that service will be and how much time you can dedicate to helping others. Finally after two years of marriage, I will treat you to a lunch where you will update me on the progress you made in observing these prep steps and reassure me that you are still happily married.”
- Theodore: “This is a joke, right! We been living together for over two years and know a lot more about love than you. On the other hand you are not married and unless you getting something on the side, you have no clue about love. We already volunteer by tutoring handicap children in our school district. It’s quite evident there is a conspiracy to rope us into religion. This has been a waste of time, Janice we are leaving!”
Father Mark: With sadness I watched the two of them head for the door. Suddenly Janice turns around with a somber face and for the first time speaks.
- Janice: “Father Mark, I am sorry for Theodore’s rudeness. The marriage in Church by a Catholic Priest is for the sake of Theodore’s parents. We do not believe in a God and your preparation program would not change that position. If we superficially followed your marriage preps steps, would you still marry us in Church?”
- Father Mark: “Yes”!
- Janice: “Why put all of us through this program if the end result would be the same”.
- Father Mark: “I will answer your query during our first marriage prep session, be it now or latter.”
- Janice: “Theodore: it’s very important to me that we listen to Father Mark’s response”
- Theodore: “If it’s that important to You (Janice), Mark we are listening (as they both return to the table and sit down). I wonder how many relationships broke up during these prep sessions.”
- Father Mark: ““Before I address the questions of why these sessions are also for couples that see little meaning or purpose in them, I need respond to the earlier “ no clue about love” comment”“
“In my job as a God’s spiritual social worker, there is requirement to understand and promote God’s gift of love to humanity. First, I know God loves all of us and expects us to love ourselves, family, and friends. These marriage prep sessions and my daily interactions with people tell a story of how love relationships get started and flourish.”
“If love is just about sex, such relationships will most likely be short lived. There needs to be a lot more and over time I have learned what it takes for a long term love relationship and a intimate friendship to develop from families, friends and strangers that cross my path. In every case, love and friendships need to be strengthened and reinforced every day until we die. Over time some of us learn and get better in cementing love and friendships while others mostly for selfish reasons fail.”
“As to my own love life, there is a small group of close friends that love me and are solicitous about my daily welfare and happiness. The affections are mutual: they compete to bring me chicken soup when I am under weather and I share in all of their joys and sorrows. Minus physical intimacy with the exception of light kissing and hugging, our relationships parallel that of married couple in love.”
“Now I am ready to answer your questions about the meaning and purpose of my marriage prep sessions, even for couples who do not believe in God”
To be continued in Letters from Canada 20
Father Mark: Its times like this I wish there were more hours in a day and days in a week. On the docks, I need to prepare for a sermon that would tie my pastoral responsibilities with searching for Mary, followed by a strategy and planning session with Susan, Linda and Tom to organize that effort. But first I must attend to my day job and talk to a young couple that asked me to married them in church. Marrying couples in love is one of the more enjoyable tasks of my work.
In my parish office after intros, I welcomed the newly engaged couple Theodore and Janice with a big smile and handshakes.
- Father Mark: “Both of You must be new to the parish, I don’t recognize either one You.”
- Theodore: “We live about 112 Kilometers (70 miles) from here. A good friend of ours recommended You to marry us.”
- Father Mark: “I am flattered and let’s start by telling me something about yourself.”
- Theodore: “What do you want to know?”
- Father Mark: “Anything that would help me know both of you a little better and lead us to become good friends.”
- Theodore: “We did not come here to make new friends. We are not going to join any church. We just want to get marry.”
- Father Mark: “I hope your friend who recommended me to marry you, shared with you the preparations that couples need to complete before I marry them. The first one being that I need to have a good feeling that both of you are in love with each other. A close second one is why do you wish to be married in Church when there are so many other marriage venues.”
“Before any questions or discussions, let’s go over the other preparatory steps. Not being regular Church goers, I would like you to attend at least 10 public Church Services over the next two years. No requirements to join a Church just show up and observe the faithful and if opportunities arise try to talk to parishioners at the Church.”
“Also over a two year time span, both of you need to volunteer for community service. You decide what that service will be and how much time you can dedicate to helping others. Finally after two years of marriage, I will treat you to a lunch where you will update me on the progress you made in observing these prep steps and reassure me that you are still happily married.”
- Theodore: “This is a joke, right! We been living together for over two years and know a lot more about love than you. On the other hand you are not married and unless you getting something on the side, you have no clue about love. We already volunteer by tutoring handicap children in our school district. It’s quite evident there is a conspiracy to rope us into religion. This has been a waste of time, Janice we are leaving!”
Father Mark: With sadness I watched the two of them head for the door. Suddenly Janice turns around with a somber face and for the first time speaks.
- Janice: “Father Mark, I am sorry for Theodore’s rudeness. The marriage in Church by a Catholic Priest is for the sake of Theodore’s parents. We do not believe in a God and your preparation program would not change that position. If we superficially followed your marriage preps steps, would you still marry us in Church?”
- Father Mark: “Yes”!
- Janice: “Why put all of us through this program if the end result would be the same”.
- Father Mark: “I will answer your query during our first marriage prep session, be it now or latter.”
- Janice: “Theodore: it’s very important to me that we listen to Father Mark’s response”
- Theodore: “If it’s that important to You (Janice), Mark we are listening (as they both return to the table and sit down). I wonder how many relationships broke up during these prep sessions.”
- Father Mark: ““Before I address the questions of why these sessions are also for couples that see little meaning or purpose in them, I need respond to the earlier “ no clue about love” comment”“
“In my job as a God’s spiritual social worker, there is requirement to understand and promote God’s gift of love to humanity. First, I know God loves all of us and expects us to love ourselves, family, and friends. These marriage prep sessions and my daily interactions with people tell a story of how love relationships get started and flourish.”
“If love is just about sex, such relationships will most likely be short lived. There needs to be a lot more and over time I have learned what it takes for a long term love relationship and a intimate friendship to develop from families, friends and strangers that cross my path. In every case, love and friendships need to be strengthened and reinforced every day until we die. Over time some of us learn and get better in cementing love and friendships while others mostly for selfish reasons fail.”
“As to my own love life, there is a small group of close friends that love me and are solicitous about my daily welfare and happiness. The affections are mutual: they compete to bring me chicken soup when I am under weather and I share in all of their joys and sorrows. Minus physical intimacy with the exception of light kissing and hugging, our relationships parallel that of married couple in love.”
“Now I am ready to answer your questions about the meaning and purpose of my marriage prep sessions, even for couples who do not believe in God”
To be continued in Letters from Canada 20
